Admitting Failure in Work Life Balance

I went back to work when my oldest child was 7 weeks old. It was horrible and I cried everyday. I was angry, sad, and resentful. So, 10 years later, I am working for myself, and I am so thankful that I can stay at home with my baby, Josie. For the first month, I scheduled out social media for my clients, didn’t take on any new projects, and budgeted for the change. Everything was fine for the first 3 months.

Then I wanted to pick up more work, but the baby wasn’t sleeping. So, I thought I would work on getting her on a schedule first. I told myself, “all babies are different, maybe she just needs more time…I can make this work”. I was 6 months in and I was struggling! Who can work in one hour increments?

I started off each month with a new plan to make it work. After 8 months, I was stuck in a place of needing to take on more work, but not having the time to do it, and not making enough to justify full time day care. I was left feeling super stressed and not fully enjoying the time with my children because I was trying so hard to do it all. None of it was working. I found myself  trying to code a website with a crying baby on my lap and tossing my keyboard across the room. I cried a little too and waved the white flag.

Failure is a necessary part of learning and working for yourself . It is truly a journey of trial and error. You will make mistakes, but you will also gain valuable knowledge in doing so. I am very hard headed, but I finally admitted that my situation wasn’t working or serving anyone. It was a relief to come to terms with that. It was the first step in making a change that was good for my business and personal life. Working from home and having a family is never going to be a perfect balance. It’s just not the same as work space outside the home. For now, it’s what works for me, even the days it doesn’t work. You have to find out what works for you too, but don’t be afraid to admit when it’s not.