With everyone showing their best life reel online, it can be so hard to avoid comparing your success to others. I love the quote by Jon Acuff, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” Amen!
Still, that’s easier said than done. I will admit to feelings of jealousy. People that travel, do styling, and remodel their homes really gets me sometimes. It’s definitely because I love to travel, style, and redesign my home. Those are all things that we have put on hold as we, I say we because it was a family decision for me to start my own business, focus on building up Tipsy Studio. Our goal was for me to work from home, because it matched the values and vision we had for our family. So, I don’t have new hardwood floors, and we are dealing with the old carpet. However, we met our goal! It took longer than expected, but I am making the same amount of money I was making at my job as an Art Director. So, isn’t that success? We have some catching up to do from my very long maternity leave, but that subway tile back splash is totally in my future. I try to take note of the times I feel jealous as a reminder of the goals I want to accomplish, while reminding myself of the achievements I have made.
Another time I feel so much pressure to compete is when I compare the success of my business to that of others. Recently, someone in a Facebook group that I am a member of stated she was booked a year out! I was so jealous! I immediately felt like crap. What am I not doing that she is doing? I am great at what I do dammit! I had to stop and think about how much I have learned and how much I have grown my confidence, skills, and income. In the scope of my career as a designer, it may seem small. But in my time as a business owner, it’s huge. You never know the work someone puts into their business before and after they launch.
So, how do you measure success? I think this is different for everyone based on their personal values, goals, and mission. When you are really clear about what those are it’s easy to put your initial jealous feelings into perspective. A weekend on a zip line is Belize looks way more fun that doing dishes, but are you a failure for not having the same experience? What is a goal you failed to meet? The next step is breaking down your goal into proactive steps. I like to do this per quarter. Then you have something to hold you accountable, keep you in your lane, and celebrate with some of those wants. Hello, girls weekend!
I hope this helps you by fueling your drive to succeed instead of beating yourself up. We all have a different journey for a reason, just lean into it.